Archive for the ‘Mommy Stories’ Category

A Trait I didn’t want to pass on.

I could be all wrong. After all, when you try to diagnose or analyze yourself, you tend to think only what you want to believe.

I believe that I try to be the strongest person I can be. I can’t ever let anyone see me sad, hurt, disappointed, overwhelmed. I take it all and bottle it up and when I burst, I do it in the confines of my own personal space. Now maybe I have “believed” my astronomical sign for too many years. I am a Cancer and everything says that Cancer Crabs are like hermit crabs. We hole up in our shell.

I didn’t think I had handed down this trait to my children, until this past Thursday. We came home late from dinner and my oldest daughter came out and said that Phineas (her fish) had died. He was so big he sank instead of floating.  She came out and then went back into her room. A few minutes later I had asked her if she fed the dog (one of her daily chores). She came out and said “Oops not yet”. Her eyes were teary and she pretended like she was yawning. She said “Ohhh I just can’t stop yawning”. It wasn’t until I looked at her and she had looked like she had been crying. At that point I recognized the signs (after all, I do think I invented them). I said “Honey, are you ok?” At that point she looked at me and just lost it. She was really upset because she had this fish for 5 years.  This was one of her first experiences with death so I wanted to make sure I was there for her.

I will admit, I bothered me a little bit to see how she hid her emotions. I worry that one day I might miss the signs and not see that she is hurting. I do it all the time and unfortunately I think its a huge curse. One day my “bottled” up emotions could burst me and I can POP. I guess only time will tell.

Finally….. A Sense of Belonging

I never knew I felt lost, until I felt like I belonged.

Let me start at the beginning:

We are a Catholic family. My husband grew up in the religion. Always going to Church, having Priests over for dinner, going to Catholic school. I, on the other hand, didn’t even receive my First Communion until I was 15!  And then I didn’t get Confirmed until I was 17.

My husband and I met at a Catholic retreat center while working for their summer camp. We got married within the Catholic Church. Were we practicing Catholics? At this point, I would say NO.

It wasn’t really until we wanted to get our second daughter baptized that we “had” to be practicing Catholics. At that time, the Church we belonged to made us go to baptism classes and wouldn’t allow us to have our daughter baptized until we had been members of the Church for at least 6 months.  We joined the Catholic Church that was closest to our house. We enrolled in Baptism classes and registered our first daughter in Religious Education Classes.  Our second daughter was Baptized and our first daughter received her First Communion at this Church.

It wasn’t until we had an off week of Religious Education that my husband said we needed to go shopping for a new church. We had two other choices, both of which would be a little bit of a drive. Knowing that a Pastor had moved back to my childhood parish I chose that we “try” a Church in Altamonte Springs. We went to ONE Mass and everything drew us to the Church; the energy, the friendliness, the people. That next week we registered with that Parish and moved our kids to their Religious Education program. This was in December.

We faithfully (pun intended) went to Church each weekend. We went because we enjoyed going. We loved the Pastor, the energy and (again) the people.  It was in March of the following year that we considered moving our daughter to the Parish School in hopes of a more challenging education for her.  We applied and was accepted in May 2012. At this time, I still did not know how lost I felt.

Our oldest started at the Parish school in August 2012 and we continued to attend Mass every weekend. It really didn’t hit me until August 2013 (after our youngest started Kindergarten at the school) that I finally felt that sense of belonging. It is an amazing feeling when you go to Mass and see your friends; when your kids see their friends and they wave, talk and ask to sit with them at Church; when you can be walking around the campus and always see a smiling face; when your Pastor comes to you and knows every ones name.

Now it seems that whenever I set foot in the school or the Church, I feel like I finally belong somewhere… As the song goes…. I’m finally somewhere, where everyone knows my name.

Jumping on the Miley Bandwagon

In the past 3 hours, I have seen 4 “Open Letters to Miley” from moms about her performance at the VMA’s the other night. I’ll admit I was curious enough to read them. They all mentioned about how horrible of a role model Miley was now that she was all grown up from Disney and her Hannah Montana character.  I really bothered me reading these letters but I couldn’t figure out why.

I was riding in the car listening to Taylor Swift’s song and I thought about how some parents mentioned how much better a role model Taylor Swift was than Miley Cyrus.  Now maybe because I’m not into making music or being an actress, but how is Taylor Swift a better role model?

Is it because she doesn’t get into trouble? (or at least the media has never seen her do it). If I recall there was a performance at a recent concert where she took off a wedding gown and under neath that was a black lingerie outfit. At a concert. With kids.  Is she the better role model now?

I let my children watch Disney, my 10 year old watched Hannah Montana. Was Hannah her role model 4 years ago. No. Is Miley her role model now? Miley who….

Now I’m not saying that I’m doing anything better than anyone and I certainly don’t try to know how to parent. I am learning day by day with the most of us, but do we really want our children to look to these people as role models? I try to teach my kids to look up the community members, Coaches, Teachers, Principals, Girl Scout Leaders, Leaders of our Church. Other strong, independent women who make a difference in someones life. I don’t make a big deal about being a star or making tons of money. I try to focus on teaching my kids to help others, be in the community. Is that something that we look up to Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez or Demi Lovato for?

These starlets are only there for our pure entertainment and we should not tell our kids to look to them as role models.  I would LOVE for the biggest role models in my daughters life to be myself and my husband. Let them learn from us, let them learn from our community.

If the only thing that Miley Cyrus did that was wrong at the VMA’s is she gave a very horrible performance. While we are all here blaming her for her actions, MTV is applauding the fact that they haven’t had this much attention in YEARS.

So lets go out together and be the role models for our kids. Get them interested in Team Sports or Girl Scouts or Youth Ministries. Lets make a big deal to today’s youth by teaching them what a role model truly is.

 

**This picture below is my daughters delivering cookies on Thanksgiving to the Firemen and EMT’s that had to work on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving cookies

A lesson I learned from my 5 year old #24578

Just when I think that I am the one teaching and molding my kids, something happens that I realize that we are teaching and molding each other.  While I hope to raise them to respect others, always try their hardest and to always trust their instinct; I realize that there are times when they are the ones teaching me a life lesson. Tonight’s conversation with my 5 year old was one of those lessons.

KK: So today Lily convinced me to try the monkey bars at school. I could only do two and then I jumped down. But I saw the other kids move their legs alot and I figured I could try it.

Me: <cringing> Eeck, Kaili you know I don’t want you on the monkey bars (two of her friends broke their arms just last year).

K: But mom, I can’t be afraid to try new things. Are you afraid to try new things? Is that why you don’t want me to do the monkey bars?

Me: <sigh> No, I just am afraid that you will get hurt.

K: Well mom, I promise that I will be extra careful, but I can’t be afraid to try something new.

Me: Yes, Kaili you are right. You can’t be afraid to try new things. I am proud of you for being brave today. Please promise me you will be extra careful.

K: <cupping my face in her hands> I promise, Mom.

So yes, she is right. I can’t make her afraid to try new things just so she doesn’t get hurt. I know that it is really our first instinct, which is to protect our kids from getting hurt, physically and mentally. But that will help her be a stronger person when she grows up. Sometimes she will get hurt but teaching her how to overcome it will be another great life lesson.

 

A little lesson from Lee Harvey Oswald

Ok, if you read my blog you know that my daughter, Malia is an avid reader. Recently she read the [kids version] of Kennedy’s Last Day written by Bill O’Reilly. She read Lincoln’s Last Days last Christmas and enjoyed it, so when Kennedy’s story came out, she requested it from the library. Since she happened to be in the middle of The Hunger Game series, I stole the book and read it.  Well, since she is so darn competitive she absolutely had to read it next. We were comparing notes on the book, when she made this profound, mind blowing statement:

Malia: See that was Oswald’s problem
Me: who is Oswald?
Malia: Lee Harvey Oswald. See he wanted be great, but what he didn’t know is that you can’t go out and BE great, you just become great. The people who become great just wanted to be men.
Me: <mind blown>

I hope that she will take this life lesson with her always!! As I try to teach both of my girls, the most important thing to remember is to just be yourself!

 

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